Share your truth

Submitted by Neva

“Share your truth”

my truth

is that I want a big plate of pasta

to taste garlic lingering on my tongue

and feel the slick of olive oil around my lips

but instead I just think about it

while sitting on my couch and looking at my phone

watching skinny women eat delicious food

my truth

is that every day that at least 3 times

I resent my dogs

because the sound of them chewing on their toys

and licking themselves

and drinking water

just the sounds of them being living animals

makes me want to tear my hair out

my truth 

is that I killed all my vegetable seedlings

and I’ve been thinking of giving up on my garden entirely

my truth

is that I judge my boyfriend 

for not putting his laundry away

when my laundry is still in the basket

my truth 

is that I compete with everyone around me

and whenever I see someone do something wonderful

I think

“I want to do that too, just as good as them, or better”

because I my ego is fragile 

my truth

is that I’m tired of trying to make art out of every damn annoying, painful, boring, unremarkable thing

to try turn everything into beauty

when the reality is that sometimes things are just cruddy

my truth

is that I’m tired of hearing instagram coaches say “your truth is your medicine”

my truth

is not some glorious revelatory salve

that will heal the world

my truth

today

is a shit-lined rain cloud